Big Fat Positive

Photo by adrian on Unsplash

Big fat positive — I think that’s what they call it, right? The thing you are hoping for when you are trying to get pregnant. The other moment — the temporary “O Shit” moment is when when you decide your period is late, your breasts hurt more than is usual during PMS, and you have been actively trying to get pregnant. So you get a pregnancy test, pee on the stick, and wait…

To catch you up: My husband and I recently decided to try to start a family. It took A LOT of convincing from him to get me to even consider it. But, after a lot of work on his end and me deciding to meet him in the middle, we decided to try for 1 year only. That meant removing my IUD in December 2020 and starting to try in January of this year.

Now, back to the waiting part. There is no moment like the moment you decide to pee on a stick and have to wait to see if your life is changed forever. I will say the pregnancy test we decided to use (Clear Blue) worked surprisingly quickly. It took 1 to 3 minutes to tell you how your life changes (or not). After trying through the month of January, we decided to take a test before we went to spend time with friends, just to be safe in case we decided to have a drink or two. That test was a Big Fat Negative. We decided it was all good — we could try again next month. We had a whole year to try, afterall.

Fast forward about 3 days — my breasts had not stopped hurting, I was more tired than normal, and I STILL had not gotten my period. My husband and I, although still feeling like it couldn’t possibly be pregnancy, decided we should take another test just to be on the safe side. We couldn’t possibly have gotten pregnant our first time of trying. There was truly no way. It had taken my parents YEARS and other friends months to get to that point.

So, early in the morning, I got up to take the test. I did so before my husband got up to take the dog for a short walk, as is his normal routine, so it was probably around 5 AM. I peed on the stick and waited. I waited about 3 minutes, looked down, and there it was. The Big Fat Positive. I, of course, internally freaked out and, so as not to wake my husband, hid the test and climbed back in bed. Needless to say, I could not sleep at that point, so lay there looking at the ceiling.

An hour later, his alarm went off, he got up and took the dog for a walk. I, which was not normal for me, also got up. I emptied the dishwasher, did the dishes, opened all of the blinds, and got ready for the day. I was trying to decide how to tell him and imagining how excited he would be. In the end, I decided that it was best to show him the test when he returned from the walk.

So, he returned, surprised to see me up. I showed him the test and he broke into a huge grin. We were both very surprised, but also incredibly excited/nervous/happy. It definitely made our morning. Now we begin our journey into parenthood. Let the adventure (doctors appointments, planning, telling our families, etc.) begin; fingers crossed everything goes as smoothly as it can (I know there will be bumps)!!

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Erin Kron

A Type 1 Diabetic of 20+ years entering into the world of pregnancy. I’m here to share my journey, learnings, and noticings along the way.